Are you looking for a hot fling? But you know, one without all the drama, travel problems, or STD risks? Or worse, having to go through all that dating anxiety, ghosting, and sometimes awkwardness IRL? Well, maybe not so much like Deadwood with all the death and gore, but you know, more like a safe, respectful, and virtual strip club with benefits.
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For those of us who came of age in the late s and early s, the internet was a wild and exciting world of rudimentary websites, slow-loading pornography, and the subversive thrill of spending three to five hours illegally downloading a CD you couldn't afford to buy at Tower Records. Through it all, there was AOL Instant Messenger, an easy-to-use and highly customizable application that hid a wealth of features beneath its utilitarian facade. Before social media, before we started assuming that someone was monitoring our every online move , AIM was a place where so many of us expressed ourselves, made friends, and experienced our first sexual awakenings. Mention the service to anyone who used it during their formative years and you'll get stories of away messages that were supposed to be clever, online boyfriends and girlfriends that ended up never existing—I dated a GAP model from Florida who claimed to be in all of the brand's commercials, too young to realize how astoundingly untrue this actually was—and nostalgia about the custom sounds you could create to let you know when specific members of your buddy list came online. Released in , the service was an instant hit. AIM still exists today, although it hasn't been updated since
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If a young woman isn't to go mad, then masturbation is a needful hobby, as vital as going on long country walks, to get a bit of air in your lungs, and pursuing the revolution. It doesn't cost anything, it doesn't make you fat, you can knock it off in five minutes flat if you think about Han Solo, or some monkeys "doing it" on an Attenborough documentary, and it means you can face the world with a kind of stoned, post-coital cheerfulness that would otherwise require Valium, or constant spa-breaks. Think of all the different kinds of looks women can have, depending on their clothes, hair and make-up: "Slutty". Does any reader know why alternating blades makes each one last longer? If so, wouldn't it be felt on any "moving" surface you walk on, such as a train or plane — or even Earth?